'No, sorry. Not the best time': Employee asked to contribute to multiple coworkers' birthday gifts despite never receiving his own gift

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 14, 2023 8:00 AM EDT

We give a lot of ourselves to our jobs... but gifts for our coworkers' birthdays? That is certainly not part of our contracts. This employee, who shared his story on Reddit, received two back-to-back emails about contributing to two separate coworkers' birthday gifts. This was especially annoying and bothersome considering the fact that he had never received a birthday gift of his own despite having worked at the company for over three years. Talk about a low blow!

 

Personally, I'm a big fan of companies not making a big deal out of employees' birthdays. A real gift would be a raise or a day off. If neither of those options is on the table, there is simply no need to purchase a stale cake from your nearest grocery store because it's not the thought that counts. 

 

Keep scrolling below for the full post. For more, check out this post about some tenants getting revenge on their landlords. 

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  • 01
    Font - "Received 2 emails [...]asking me to contribute money to people's birthday gifts at my office. I've never got a birthday gift in the 3 years I've been here."
    via Austin Distel
  • 02
    Font - Received 2 emails in the last 48 hours asking me to contribute money to people's birthday gifts at my office. I've never got a birthday gift in the 3 years I've been here I have worked at my current occupation for coming up to 3 years now during which I have celebrated 2 birthdays, granted I was off work for both of them as I booked it as holiday. I have never received a birthday gift from my office yet have been told to contribute to other people's birthday gifts on multiple occasions. T
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 03
    Font - It was my colleague's birthday this past week which she was away for but received a gift of flowers and a gift card before she left. I received an email this morning saying I owe a £5 contribution for this, to which I replied simply: "no, sorry. Not the best time.".
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 04
    Font - I then received another email later than morning from the colleague who's birthday it had just been saying that it was another colleague's birthday tomorrow and if everyone could please chip in. I have yet to respond to this one but figure if I'm asked again I'll just simply say no.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 05
    Font - There have been multiple occasions while in my current place of work where I have been told I owe money for people's birthday gifts, often with next to no or no advanced warning at all.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 06
    Font - I don't think I'm being unreasonable for refusing but know I'll most likely be given the cold shoulder by at least some colleagues for doing so.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 07
    Font - Interesting-Bank-925. 2 hr. ago I would want to say " yeah, I didn't think we did birthday gifts here because nobody has ever done anything for mine". And leave it at that
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 08
    Plant - Neuralcarrot710. 50 min. ago I like this guy. Be more like this guy
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 09
    Font - thedudeabidesOG 1 hr. ago You could ignore it but I'm petty. "You know, it's pretty insulting that people keep asking me to contribute yet in my several years of working here I've never received a birthday gift.” We don't work to make friends.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 10
    Human body - rickbb80 2 hr. ago Don't give and don't say anything at all about it.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 11
    Font - fire_soul_love 2 hr. ago It's the "owe" part that gets me. No request, no notice, just a demand that you use a little of your paycheck toward your coworkers.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 12
    Font - sanguineophanim 2 hr. ago Exactly. I think a response of "Per our prior discussion (none), I will be contributing £0." would suffice.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 13
    Font - Advanced Milk26 - 2 hr. ago gross. I work in retail and I always hate that "contribution" gift type my store manager will ask for "donations" for her birthday gifts but it's not like she ever returns the favor lol
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 14
    Font - Hobnail-boots - 2 hr. ago I'm sorry my culture & or religion doesn't give gifts for birthdays. This company still includes all cultures & or religions right?
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 15
    Font - Familiar_Outcome_688. 1 hr. ago Don't answer the email, don't say anything just delete the email or send it to spam
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 16
    Font - IndependentBrie. 35 min. ago Never make excuses; your enemies don't believe them and your friends don't need them. Feels weird initially, but then exhilarating. A simple 'no, thank you' gives them nothing to negotiate with.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 17
    Font - JackBauerDamnIt24. 40 min. ago You are not being unreasonable. Why is it that others get flowers on their birthdays and you don't? Why do you owe them anything? Send a reply email and let them know how you feel.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 18
    Gesture - Wooden-Cancel-6838. 44 min. ago yeah, no one even knew it was my birthday so I just keep it that simple
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 19
    Font - JackBauerDamnIt24. 38 min. ago Collecting money for colleagues' birthday gifts puts undue pressure on employees. This needs to stop. Or better yet, the company can pay for it.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 20
    Font - beautyinmind. 20 min. ago OMG what? Did they specifically say you "owe" them money for birthday gifts? That's messed up. I wonder if HR knows about this because you may be able to spin that as harassment. I find that extremely rude and unprofessional, no one should be EXPECTED to contribute.
    via u/ElChappie1
  • 21
    Font - ibagbagi 15 min. ago Yeah, no. This is so dumb. Would never expect my coworkers to do this for me, and wouldn't do it for them. If I'm friends with a coworker, I'll get them a gift on my own time and dime.
    via u/ElChappie1

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workplace-stories work stories toxic-workplace birthday coworkers reddit thread Reddit toxic-work-environment
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